But Lord, that's not what I had pictured...

Summer is almost over, well at least summer vacation. We start school in less than two weeks and quite honestly I am procrastinating. I should be finalizing lesson plans. Honestly, I am like half-way but finalizing counts for 49% and below, right...But I have to admit I am a little distracted.

This summer my BFF, aka my Mom and I have been going through Priscilla Shirer's Bible Study, Gideon. Week 4, Day 2 had us looking at Gideon's gift, the meal he gave to the Angel of the Lord. In the study she points out the four steps Gideon takes, and we all should take, when giving something to the Lord. The four steps are: 1. Prepare it. 2. Present it. 3. Put it down. 4. Pour it out. 
Priscilla goes on to emphasize the amount of time Gideon would have taken to prepare a meal (fresh goat!!!) only to have the Angel of the Lord tell him to pour it out on a rock. All that hard work and it wasn't even it eaten! True, through the beauty of hindsight we can see that God accepted the gift, just not the way Gideon expect.

So, the idea of investing time and energy into a gift presented to God only to have it used in a way that is not what I would have pictured, let alone chosen, has been ruminating in my mind all week. See, I have been struggling with the idea of the children of believers having a hard time. As Christians we invest so much into our kids and with all the information that is available through the medical community we take every precaution to insure our kiddos will be incredible men or women for God. We dedicate to the Lord, we take them to church have so other saints can invest in and encourage them. We read them Bible stories every night and teach them to pray.  We give these precious bundles to the Lord, knowing that they were His in the first place. And then we start to see the struggles in their path. The frustration of not being understood because of a speech impediment. The look of defeat when  their little legs that won't carry them as far or as fast as other little kids. When tripping and falling on the sidewalk becomes such a common occurrence they no longer cry. And my heartache is nothing like some parents. And you like me, might you find yourself saying "But Lord that's not how I dreamed of You using my child, my gift to You."

Part of me wonders if I did something wrong...I am like the religious leaders in John, wondering who sinned, me or my hubby. Could I have done something differently...tried harder, eaten differently, exercised more... And then I hear God's calming voice, that this is did not surprise Him, this is not a punishment, and He will use it for His glory. I am coming to the realization that sometimes He uses what we give in a way that is unexpected but is more beautiful than we can ever imagine.

People talk about how God is creating a tapestry and how each of us are part of  a larger story, a bigger picture. I love this analogy. Crocheting is currently my stress-reliever and while I don't make tapestries, I do make shawls and blankets. A simple stitch makes a functional blanket, but it is not overly beautiful. The more complicated the pattern, the more that is required from the yarn. In fact,

lacy patterns require the yarn to be dampened and stretched, forcing the fibers to become something new. I want my kiddos to be part of the beautiful story that God is creating, but in order to do that I need to invest time to prepare them, lead them to Lord, let go and watch what the Lord does.

Lord, give me the strength as You work in the lives of these precious gifts I have given back to You.

And the Angel of the God said to him,"Take the meat and the unleavened bread and lay them on the rock, and pour out the broth." And he did so. Then the Angel of the Lord put out the end of the staff taht was in His hand, and touched the meat and the unleavened bread; and fire rose out of the rock and consumed the meat and the unleavened bread...

 Judges 6:20-21

Pilgrims and the Mayflower

Thanksgiving is over and now the mad rush to Christmas! November was a crazy month for us but we still had some fun in school. History wise it contains what I think is one of the more relateable and fun early elementary history lessons...namely, the Pilgrims!

Books we used this year for our Pilgrim unit:

This year N (2nd grade) and I read Pilgrim Boy by Matilda Nordtvedt. Pilgrim Boy is actually a 3rd grade reader in the Abeka reading program but the book is also available on Amazon. (You can find almost anything on Amazon it seems, except pre-lit multi color Christmas trees.) The reading level is a little above N, mainly because of the vocabulary, so we have been reading it aloud, alternating reading paragraphs. This book has produced some wonderful discussions and a sober glimpse into what the journey entailed. We followed Pilgrim Boy up with reading Finding Providence: The Story of Roger Williams  by Avi and James Watling. This book is a Stage 4 I Can Read book and provides a slightly less romanticized view of the Separatists. We both found it fascinating that after going to such lengths to have religious freedom, the Separatists fell back into the habit of a government with an enforced religion. (Okay, maybe it was just me...but it was interesting.)

Hands on Activities:

We did two hands on activities with our Pilgrim unit. One was a meal like the pilgrims had with stew on bread plates without utensils and drinking from a dipper (actually we used a dipper to fill our cups, the nurse in me couldn't do a universal dipper). I did make a hamburger or poor man's stew so the stew would be easier to eat without knives and forks. The boys thought it was great fun!

But probably the best thing we did was measure out the living quarters of the Mayflower in our backyard. I found a wonderful resource for the measurements at Caleb Johnson's Mayflower History.

I also discovered I own a ridiculous number of throws and play sheets. The boys loved doing this and it only affirmed in my mind that I am not cut out to be a Pilgrim. I felt claustrophobic just thinking about it!

Pumpkins!

We also did two pumpkin-y things in November. The first was  a pumpkin craft were the boys glued leaves to the carvable craft pumpkins and then we slathered them with Modge-podge. While not exactly Pinterest worthy, at least one of them turned out well enough not to mysteriously fall into the trashcan.

The other thing we have done for two years now is our Thankful Pumpkin! Each night in November we sit down as a family and name something we are thankful for and write it on the pumpkin. I think we will be able to get four years on one pumpkin. The boys LOVE doing Thankful Pumpkin and it is a tangible reminder of our many blessings!

Well, that is what November brought us for homeschool fun! Now on to December with paper airplanes and of course Christmas!

Usborne's What Are Germs? Lift a Flap Demo

Accepting the Fact You are a Real Princess

Do you remember the story of the Princess and Pea? In the story a beautiful, but rather ordinary young woman tells the Prince she is a princess, a real princess no less. The Queen highly doubts with shabby looking young woman is a "real" princess and arranges a test to verify the fact. Low and behold, after sleeping on a bed of 100 mattress on top of a dried pea, the young woman awakes black and blue, complaining about the horrid bed. The Queen is elated, though if I was the young woman, I would have been really, really annoyed.

I have been thinking about this fairytale a lot lately as my autoimmue muscle/nerve/fatigue/weakness whatever-we-are-going-to-call-it has resurfaced. Not constantly, but more times than I would like, though to be honest one is more than I would like😏. And I do not want to admit it. Denial is the

state I want to live in, but well, legs aching like they will buckle at any minute has a way of saying otherwise.

My trigger is stress... good or bad... physical or emotional. And well, there has been a bit of it lately. But honestly, most of it is my own doing. I keep pushing myself or putting myself in situations where I stress my body. I take a bazillion trips up and down the stairs. I don't delegate. I worry about things that are in the future, things God has not given me the grace or strength to deal with. I deny the fact my health is delicate.

I often see autoimmune disorders (especially ones not readily seen by others) by the Spoon Theory. The Spoon Theory equates daily energy to spoons. Each activity you do a day requires energy, a "spoon". If you have twelve spoons, you have enough energy to do twelve things. And not all days have the same number of spoons.

 I can see that, but I like the idea of being a real princess better. For one thing, who doesn't want to be a princess👸. Secondly, viewing myself as a "real princess" forces me to acknowledge there are something I should not do...Just because I think I have the energy or "spoons" to do it, doesn't mean I should. A princess rests. A princess let's others do the heavy lifting, both physically and emotionally. The word picture also helps others hold me accountable.

What does this look like? I have my little boys carry in the groceries even though I could do it all in one trip. I have my husband call and argue with the internet provider. My boys still nap or play in their rooms quietly for an hour and half every afternoon and I have to put my feet up (I had to make that a rule, I am a rule person 😏).

Being a real princess is not a sign of weakness, but it is a reality we have to accept. And I know it is hard. There are people out there like the Queen, who want to test or deny that you are a real princess. The queens are out there, but you have nothing to prove to them. Sometimes it does mean unfollowing a someone on Facebook who posts everyday about training to lift a semi-truck. (Not really a semi-truck but given what my body will allow at the moment, it might as well be a semi 🤣) And other times it means it means being super nice and pampering yourself (Pass the brownies please!)

I write this because I want to encourage you...I want you to know that you are not alone...I want you to realize you are a princess...Precious to your Heavenly Father...Don't push yourself, know your limits...I am praying for you!

Bunny Peek A Boo, a Child's First Logic/Learning Game

A little while ago a friend asked for suggestions of ways to occupy her preschooler while she schooled her older children. I ended up with an incredible list of suggestions, because let's face it I have been doing "homeschool preschool" for awhile. So, one of the things I want to include in my blog is what worked, what we loved, and what I skipped with the next preschooler (No more dry bean sensory bins, I am still finding beans under the furniture). 

Today , I am reviewing one of my first logic/learning game finds: "Bunny Peek A Boo". The game is published by Smart Games and the suggested age range is 2yrs and up. And this game truly can be played by a two year old. 

So, what's inside this award winning game? The game comes with four colorful, sturdy solid wood pieces in the shapes of a bunny,  an open sided cube, arch, and a square

with a round hole in it. The pieces are very sturdy, despite some very rambunctious play the boys have failed to dent the wood or chip the paint. It also includes 30 double-sided cards, thus 60 challenges, which are color coded for difficult level.  There is also a solution sheet if you get stumped (I will admit to getting stumped once..then the five year old came over and solved it.) The game also has a wonderful insert that holds all the pieces, and helped the boys with clean up and taking care of the game.

How do you play Bunny Peek A Boo? The game is very simple. You give the child the blocks and a challenge card. The child has to

look at the picture and recreate the image using the blocks. The challenges start off very easy but as you can see eventually train the child to think outside the box and uses the blocks in different ways. Once you recreate the image you, can move on to the next challenge or level.

Why do I love Bunny Peek-a-Boo? Well, first because my boys loved it, and it was easy enough to start with that it captured them. My middle son, E, is a very busy little fella, and getting him to sit still and focus, well it is not his super power. And yet the ability to focus and problem solve are vital for learning.  (I have found sitting still is kind of optional if one can focus to the task at hand). Over the course of playing the game, E developed the ability to analyze the image, break it part into components, come up with a solution, and then recreate the image. He was driven to figure the challenge out, and would

easily pass 30 minutes playing. The long-term result: He now notices subtle differences in an image,  which has translated over to letter recognition. He has also developed problem solving skills that has greatly increased his understanding of numbers and basic math. And most importantly,  he developed the ability to focus on a task, problem solve and see it through.(Yes!!!) All while I taught his older brother phonics! (Mommy win!)

And the dismount: Bunny Peek A Boo is an awesome introduction to logic/learning games. I would say the age range  is 2-5yrs. Five years old is the max, in my opinion,  and you might find you are not getting your money's worth if you buy it for a 5 year old. There are just some better options out there for an older preschooler/kindergartner. It can seem a little pricey, but I have seen it on sale and honestly because it is sturdy, it resells very well. All this to say, for younger kids, I have never seen another toddler/ young preschool game like this. Totally age appropriate, incredibly sturdy, and Bunny Peek A Boo develops vital problem-solving skills while your little one is having fun...because admit it...Bunny is really cute!

And if you are wondering what I love for a 5 year old logic game..stay tuned :)

You can find Bunny Peek A Boo here:

My Three Year Old Uses Fluoridated Toothpaste

My three year old uses toothpaste with fluoride in it. I can almost hear the collective gasp of the Internet. And I am sure someone will tell me when he is older and struggles with dangling participles and passive voice, J's struggles are because I used fluoridated toothpaste. (And not the fact the English language is just plain evil.)

 I don't know about you, but I find myself doubting my parenting skills more with boy #3 than I ever did with boy #1. The weight of the mommy guilt has become incredible! J has some funky front teeth that have been impossible to keep healthy without fluoride and have you seen what the Internet has to say about fluoride???  And Facebook advertisements have not been helpful. It seems daily some new article on "how you immunized child will have a slew of health problems and a horrible life" keeps finding it's way into my feed. The current major outcomes of immunizations are ear infections and tonsillitis. Dandy! The fact that J has had three bouts of tonsillitis this year is now my fault. I have RUINED my son's life (add appropriate dramatics).

We all experience mommy guilt at some point and time (unless you are just super mom).  It has been an ongoing journey for me and here are some of the things I have learned.

1) Combat mommy guilt with the Truth. Mommy guilt is usually propagated by a false assumption. Take J's tonsil issue. According to the articles, he has tonsillitis because he received immunizations. The thing is, if I was being rational, I would realize that his issue is genetics not an
over or under performing immune system. My older two have had the same immunizations if not more than J but never had a case of tonsillitis. They did, however, have ear tubes placed at a very young age, before most of their immunizations because... guess what I have horrid ears. As did my mom... The fact is my family regularly pays for our ENT's vacation. We just have lousy ears, sinuses, exc.

 Philippians 4:8 Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.

2) Fight back and let it GO. Take a hold of your mommy guilt and recognize it for what it is, an attack to paralyze you with worry and fear. If I worry about how every decision I ever made, might effect my kiddos, I will dwell in the past and miss the present. Not to mention get zero sleep!

 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds; casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

We are commanded to "cast down imaginations", and that is what mommy guilt is. We think we know what might have effected our child or that pivotal moment our child's destiny changed. Do not live in the past, you cannot know, you are not God. So, let it GO.

3) Put the mouse down! I actually have had to stop researching things on the Internet and I make sure to not click on the articles that pop up in my feed. These articles are not edifying and do not help. Researching so you make the best informed decision is great but when you start feeling the weight of guilt mounting, hit the X and get out!  Also, realize that the Internet has an agenda. No matter how noble they say they are, they have an agenda, make sure it is one you agree with.

I also wanted to mention while we are here, think about it before you post an article to your feed. I know it is a free country but let's practice a little kindness and sensitivity. Sharing an article that says that high fructose corn syrup causes infertility (I totally made this fact up, though I am sure there is an article that says this somewhere on the Internet!) when you have friends who are struggling to conceive is at the very least unkind. If you want an article for your own reference, just change the privacy settings. Don't be the one who heaps guilt on another mom.

4) Forgive yourself. Between J's teeth and his hips, there is a good chance the decisions, I (we) made before his birth, effected him. Can we say for sure, no... but three CT scans in 24 hours and a bunch of heart meds sure increase the likelihood. I REALLY struggled with this, to the point I was hyper-aware of J's every slight health issue, and THEY WERE ALL MY FAULT. I had worked through the verses I mentioned before, but it didn't help the fact because it was my fault.

And then a very wise woman (my Mom, if  you haven't guessed) told me to forgive myself. Those were such powerful words. She pointed out to me all the poor mothers who have lived through the advances of science in the last century. Can you imagine the guilt of finding out years later that if you had simply boiled the water, your children would be with you today? Forgive yourself. You did the best your could at the moment with the information and circumstances you had.

• Did you not do delayed cord clamping and now your child has X...forgive yourself
• Did you let your baby watch baby Einstein and now your child has X...forgive yourself
• Were you unable to breastfeed and now your child has X...forgive yourself 
• Did you feed your baby formula and now your child has X... forgive yourself
• Did you have an epidural and now your child has X...forgive yourself
• Did your five year old see Jurassic Park and now won't sleep... forgive your husband
• Did you immunize and now your child has X... forgive yourself
• Did you not immunize and now your child has X...forgive yourself

But realize, with the exception of Jurassic Park, none of these are your FAULT! Sin has broken the world and things happen. Put the mommy guilt down and be a mommy! This journey is incredibly hard, don't carry burdens that are not yours to carry. All you can do is your best. It is a lot easier to do your best when you are thriving in the present versus dwelling in the past.

Also, as fellow moms, let us extend grace and sensitivity to our comrades. Almost all of the time, we do not know the whole circumstance, and casting judgment will not help or be edifying. And yes, "helpful" articles can be perceived as judgment. Be kind...

I hope this helps...I have wanted to write this blog for awhile, and it is an ongoing struggle on this side of the computer screen. I will be praying for you! We got this...maybe... ;)

Why History...

You might wonder why in the world I have made a point to add history in N's 1st grade curriculum. (See post Who Uses 21 Elephants to Make a Point? )History, while important, is not really vital in 1st grade. Granted, our history lessons have been more on the informal, silly fun side but they have very much been there. 

It all started oddly enough from the Bible cover Anthony and I bought N. The cover said "Jesus is my Superhero" with a Superman like emblem, only with a "cross" instead of an "S". We gave N this, his first "real" Bible, at the beginning of 1st grade. He was thrilled! He felt so big. It was adorable. The next Sunday as we were in the car driving to church, N out of blue asked, "Are superheroes real?" We answered him no they were not (We had discussed this before, mostly because it meant super villains were not real.) and he burst into tears! Between sobs he wailed "But I want Jesus to be REAL!" Anthony and I stared in horror at the offending Bible cover as we assured Noah that all the people in the Bible were real, most especially Jesus!!! 

In the weeks that followed we made a conscience effort to give the boys an idea of history, of how there were people who did wonderful things before we existed. N can see a phone and a car, and knows someone had to invent those items. By learning about those inventors and understanding the concept that someone we cannot meet or even see on the internet existed, it was not much of a leap to understand that people in the Bible existed as well.

When I was hunting for an early elementary history curriculum, I got frustrated quickly. Most of what I could find was early American history, but if I find reading about Benjamin Franklin, John Adams, and Thomas Jefferson a little boring imagine what a wiggly 6 year old is going to think! I wanted something that was fun and presented people that had character traits or life lessons or accomplishments for the boys to learn from. I also wanted the boys to have a concept of the past and the present. Learning just about people from 18th century America was not going to accomplish that for me. 

You might ask "Why not just do Bible stories." Well, because the Bible is not a history book. Do the events and people match history? Yes! But the Bible is the Living, Breathing, Word of God. It is redemptive, It is cleansing, It draws us to our Lord and Savior. 

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12)

While I want the boys to be able to understand the concept of Biblical events in the context of world events, I also wanted to preserve the preciousness of God's Word.

So, who did I include in my 1st grade history. I choose men and women, both secular and Christian, who lived from 1400's to present day. I also made sure we covered more than just American historical figures. Our God is a global God, I want the boys to have a global worldview. We covered each person much like you would with FIAR (Five in a Row). I had a story we read for each person, a fun activity, and then N drew a relevant picture and wrote the person's name and year on it. The pictures then went in a notebook, where he could chronologically  look at them. So far we have done...

• Christopher Columbus
• Amy Carmichael
• Henry Ford
• Louis Braille
• George Mueller
• George Washington Carver
• Daniel Boone
• Preacher Mohr
• PT Barnum
• Alexander Graham Bell
• John Phillip Sousa
• Louis Bleriot
• Martin Luther King Jr.
• President Donald Trump
• Brother Andrew

Can N name the dates or even what these people have done months later? Lol, NO, but that was not the point. What he does know: believers who were provided for, people who obeyed, people who thought about others above themselves, and people who preserved despite adversity. By learning about people in history, the boys hopefully developed a concept of time and that people existed before them, and God's touch on world events. And I have to say, I think we have accomplished that, and had a really lot of fun!